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“When I read that a man is making only ,000, I am turned off,” she says. “Absolutely not.” On the other hand, Abbamonte generally doesn’t believe a guy when he says he makes over 0,000, since there isn’t any way to verify that people are giving accurate estimates of their income.
In fact, a 2010 OKCupid report found that 20% of its users said they made more money than they really did, presumably to make themselves seem more appealing.
But the couple is in the minority, since more than 80% of JDate users choose to leave their salary blank or select “Will tell you later.” Van Wallach, 56, a senior proposal writer for a major professional services firm, was a member of JDate and before he started dating a woman he met on JDate in 2008.
There are some women who only date guys with salaries in the high six-figures, but I am not one of those women.
“That signaled they may be aiming for a lifestyle or relationship that I just couldn’t afford, given post-divorce debts and child support.” JDate user Yan Falkinstein, a 31-year-old attorney who lives in Northridge, California, says he doesn’t want to be judged by the number on his paycheck.
“When I first started online dating, I was a student,” he says.
Is it better just to avoid the whole issue and wait until the relationship gets serious to discuss it?
Personally, I didn’t think I’d been trying to hide anything when I’d left the salary category on my own profile blank, but seeing my date’s number made me sheepish about my own income (about ,000 a year)—and glad that I hadn’t revealed it.
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(Stats on interactions between same-sex online daters are harder to come by.) RELATED: 8 Financial Red Flags in a Relationship For some, ruling out possible matches based on their income means being realistic, not superficial.