Rules dating recovering addict
At this level we talk about our joys, pain, and failures; our mistakes in the past, our dreams, and our goals; what we like or don’t like; and what makes us who we are.
This level is more vulnerable because we can’t change how we feel about something or the details of our past or current experiences. It is the level where we are known at the deepest core of who we are.
Communicating at this level means we offer someone the most vulnerable part of ourselves.
And my greatest fear is that they could use it against me later.
This is the kind of interaction we have with people we don’t know well.
It’s the chitchat we share with the clerk at the grocery store or a stranger at a recovery meeting At level two we start sharing other people’s thoughts, beliefs and opinions.
Think of your best friend…how long did it take before you felt at the highest level of intimacy with them, where you were able to trust them completely, or share your deepest self?
True emotional intimacy can be defined as sharing your inner most thoughts / feelings / needs and being vulnerable enough to be truly seen and accepted for who you are.
It is not about sex though often people use sex as a substitute for intimacy.
How has your addiction affected your ability to achieve intimacy on each level?
Is there anyone in your life that you have true intimacy with?
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But like the previous level, if we begin feeling too vulnerable, we can say we’ve switched our opinions or changed our mind in order to avoid conflict or pain.