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We thought we'd be lucky if we received 25 women, but we got 50.
Another third would go on to communicate and navigate, but would break up anyway, but not because of the bisexuality. And then a final third went on to continue this amazing relationship. MPC: Well some of the women who were devastated when they found out would think to themselves, Wow, I have to weigh that against the fact that he's been the most sensitive, loving, and caring partner and father. Suddenly, they had to ask themselves if it's worth giving up this amazing man simply because he has desires and wants to have relationships with other men.
It's important to note that during the interview, while these women were explicit about their abuse and the issues of imbalanced power, they would also keep referencing larger societal issues as reasoning for their partner's behavior. So the women kept drawing it back to the bigger picture that when their partner was growing up, he was told that if he got married to a woman, he would go straight. Additionally, the men were far more aware of sexual diversity and desire, so these men were more willing to engage in less heteronormative sexual acts, such as liking anal penetration by their women partners. Many women found themselves exploring BDSM, polyamory, and were themselves encouraged to explore same-sex relationships, and absolutely loving it.
The women would say things like, When he was growing up, he wasn't allowed to be out. We had this woman who said that after dating a bi man, she could never go back to dating a straight man.
Admittedly, some of the partners of the women identified as gay, but happened to fall in love with this one particular woman, and wanted to share his life with that one woman.
MPC: So we made a recruitment call through a number of health, women's and queer LGBTI services, and women began to come to us.
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For other women, who were in dangerous situations of violence, we would conduct the interview while walking on the street and shopping.